


The coolest, cutest boy I have ever seen...

by PaperWarriorQueen



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious, Romantic Comedy, Secret Identity, Vampires, but not sad one, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29537439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaperWarriorQueen/pseuds/PaperWarriorQueen
Summary: Phil always considered himself quite smart. Well, not a genius, but smart and witty. So, in the end, he didn’t know how he got into this situation.Or Techno is the most obvious vampire that can be, but Phil is the most oblivious person that can be. They began dating and then, hilarity ensues.Obligated Vampire!AU
Relationships: Technoblade/Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 183





	The coolest, cutest boy I have ever seen...

**Author's Note:**

> So, you want to say that we have a man, who possibly wears CRAVAT but no vampire au? Looks like I have to take the matter into my own hands. 
> 
> English is not my first language, so ignore mistakes and weird word choices.

Phil always considered himself quite smart. Well, not a genius, but smart and witty. So, in the end, he didn’t know how he got into this situation.

He still remembered the first time they met. It was one of their friend group gatherings, to which he was dragged by Wilbur, his so-called son. Phil wasn’t the biggest fan of parties or any type of gatherings, but sometimes it was nice to spend some time with other supernatural creatures. It was late evening, especially for more nocturnal creatures. Phil immediately spotted a new person in the group, who was brought here by Skeppy. 

The man was handsome, gorgeous even. He was pale, tall, and gothic, especially with his style choices - leather pants, blouse with cravat and dramatic sleeves, high-heeled over-the-knee boots, and, the final touch, red cape over the shoulders. This person, Technoblade was his name, was speaking very monotonously, using very specific, proper English. 

Phil was so stunned by him, that he missed most of his introduction, made by Skeppy and Wilbur, except the phrase, that he was an English Major. Yes, it explained the look and speech. 

They grew closer very quickly, finding each other's company amusing and comfortable. Firstly it was only on group gathering, sitting in the back of the bakery, and talking hours and hours, ignoring the chaos among other friends. But when Phil tried to ask the man for a more private meeting - okay, a _date_ \- it apparently became a problem. He politely declined all restaurant offers, referring to “specifically eating habits”. Okay, probably allergies, or weird tastes, Phil got it. Well, they finally could meet at the coffee shop, also in the late evening, probably because of Techno’s classes in University - English major, you know? Of course, it was weird, that Technoblade didn’t order any food, just black coffee, but Phil was too happy to finally get him on _a_ _date._ Techno said about a weird diet, so of course, he didn’t get any cakes with unknown recipes. Totally normal, human behavior. 

First, few dates were in different cafes, in the evenings, and they were cute and all, but Phil wanted more. He was constantly asking Techno to go out, to meet up at the park, or at the beach, or anything else, to be closer to nature. And Techno was constantly refused. Refusing to go to the beach, because “the sun wasn’t really great for his skin”. It was logical, giving overall paleness - Techno probably got awful sunburns every time he went on the beach. Refusing to go to the park, because there would be too many people. It also made sense - Techno was very introverted and anxious, so big crowds obviously weren’t perfect for him. Just wandering around also was deflected because of the sun and people, and some other weird excuses. Phil almost started to believe, that Techno was avoiding him, but then Techno asked him on a date himself. They went to the same park, which was declined so many times but at the midnight. Yes, maybe they have broken a few laws and scared to death poor guard, but it was fun and romantic. They were wandering under the moonlight, talking about nothing and everything, and holding hands, like lovestruck schoolers. And then, on the bridge, Techno read him a  _ poem _ . A poem, praising Phil in every way, written by Techno himself. Who wouldn’t give this man a kiss after something like this? It was the first time they kissed, and memory was full of emotions and sentiments, Phil remembered this moment both precisely and vaguely. So, even if he remembered Techno’s canines being too sharp, it probably was because of drunkenness in emotions, and nothing else. 

Time went by, they became a thing and even moved together. It opened Phil’s eyes to a lot of new facts about Techno. For example, he never slept at night. Phil can’t recall catching him sleeping during a day either, but he  _ has to sleep sometimes _ . Phil would go to bed in the evening, and Techno would be awake. Phil would wake up, at the dawn, and Techno still would be awake. And even if Phil would wake up in the middle of the night,  _ Techno still would be awake.  _ It was really unhealthy sleeping behavior, thought Phil. Yes, colleague students are always like this, ignoring sleep or meals… By the way, Phil also never saw Techno eating something. Well, almost never. Once he was awakened in the middle of the night by some noises in the street and went to the kitchen to get some water. And there was Techno, drinking something from some bag. Phil, still half-sleeping, decided that this is some modern smoothie or something. Techno has stated that he has a special diet, so maybe it had something to do with it. Neither of them talked about it afterward. 

  
  


Techno also, apparently, was stupidly polite. He just couldn’t go inside any house without permission. It was cute, at first, but after finding Techno waiting for him at the doorstep to  _ their _ apartment for at least two hours, Phil has another man a serious talk about “it’s our house, you can walk in whenever you want” and, very cautiously, submit a therapy, to work through this habit. Techno just gave him a weird look, and Phil dropped this subject. If at the moment it better to have this ritual - so be it. 

It’s all came to the end when they were cuddling on the couch, watching some pretty historical drama on TV. It was late autumn, evenings became colder and colder, and Phil was  _ freezing.  _ You would think, that cuddling with his boyfriend would help, but you would be dead wrong. 

-Techno, you are so cold, mate. Like a corpse or, I don’t know, a vampire!

Techno made a small laugh and added, not even looking at Phil

-Well, Phil, maybe because  _ I am a Vampire _ . We are known to be cold and undead. 

-Yeah, a good joke, mate, but there are actual vampires out there, so don’t make jokes like this again, it could be offensive. It's a blood circulation problem, right? 

Techno froze in place, and then slowly paused the show, before turning to the Phil

-Phil. I… what do you mean “joke”? Phil, I am a vampire, I said it on the first day we met! 

-Wait, no, you can’t be, vampires are like, drinking blood, burning at the sun and…  _ oh. _

Phil felt very ashamed. Okay, he may be missed all of his introduction, but who could blame him? On the other hand, he had been ignoring all of the hints. Not going out at day, not sleeping, drinking blood,  _ his goddamn fashion sense.  _

Techno was laughed out loud, looking at ashamed Phil. Phil tried to shoot an angry gaze at him but gave up and also began to laugh. It was a funny situation, after all

-It’s fine, Phil. Not everyone so oblivious to their surroundings, it’s probably a human thing, I don’t mind…

-Wait. What do you mean by a human thing? - Phil looked at his  _ fricking vampire boyfriend  _ with a confused look. 

-Eh?

This time Phil was one to start laughing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hm, definitely not me hinting at the sequel with this cliffhanger, no sir.


End file.
